8 Essential Tips To Ensure Your Child's Best Success
Every child has their own path. Every child has their own learning pace, their own strengths and weaknesses, and different needs. We can’t really compare ourselves to anyone else. However, there are certain things that are in your control that can make your child have a better experience overall. Here are the best tips for you to get the most out of your lessons, your home practicing, and your musical journey.
Take notes at your lessons. Do not rely on your memory, please!! If this was a college course, you would be taking notes during class. If you found out your child wasn’t taking notes during Math or Science class, you’d be telling them that taking notes would ensure their best success. If its a class, you take notes! Violin lessons are no different. If you aren’t taking notes during your lessons, you will see a very slow progression. Now, I don’t mean write down the main point of the lesson. I mean write down everything. Be a good observer.
Write down how the teacher addresses certain problems.
Write down compliments.
Write down the technical you need to work on.
Write down the musical things you need to work on.
Write down cues for yourself about how to remember something.
Write down your child’s mood that day and how it effected the lesson.
Write down how many minutes we spent on review and how much time was spent on the working piece, and copy that model at home.
Write down questions so you can make sure you ask at the end of the lesson.
Write down exercises you were given to practice.
Write down games or practice techniques.
Take notes in your music and ask your teacher questions about things you don’t understand.
Take videos and pictures and do not feel shy about asking to do so! Or don’t even ask at all. Just go ahead and take the videos and pictures. If you are taking videos and pictures, that is a sign to the teacher that you are involved, and tells us as a teacher that you are invested in your child.
2. Do not answer emails during the lessons, leave the room during the lesson, or get distracted during the lesson. This is so incredibly important. The more your child feels like you don’t think the lesson is important, then neither will they. If they find out you are not paying attention to what they are doing during the lesson, they won’t value their lesson time either. Plus, if they feel that disconnect from you during the lesson, then they won’t trust you as much at home. You will get a lot more push back from them about how they know better, when you are trying to help with something. Remember that this is an activity that you both do together. We are a team— the teacher, student, and parent. All members of the team have to be on board, especially during the lesson. Your child might also feel saddened to feel like you don’t care about the activity that they do. The lesson is a time for you to show them that you are invested in their education, their learning, their activities, and their life. You are their biggest support system. Being physically present at the lesson does not count as being at the lesson. You need to mentally and emotionally be at the lesson as well.
3. Keep ONE Suzuki Parent in the Suzuki Triangle. It’s called a “Suzuki Triangle” for a reason! If sometimes mom practices with your child, and then sometimes dad, sometimes dad comes to the lesson and sometimes mom does, sometimes the grandparent brings them or sometimes the grandparents watch them practice, this sets your child up for failure. You are not playing “Telephone” every single time you are trying to practice…and we all know how the Telephone game goes. Plus, your child doesn’t know who to trust, and they need that sense of security. I remember my mom was the main practice parent with me, but whenever my dad had to bring me to the lesson, I felt uncomfortable. Not because I didn’t love my dad—it’s because it wasn’t our activity together. I didn’t trust him to take good notes at the lessons or to tell my mom the right things to practice. It didn’t feel as good when my dad was there when I passed a song— I wanted my mom there. In my situation it was rare that my dad practiced with me or that he came to a lesson, but I felt that difference and it stayed with me.
Having the same Suzuki Parent ensures clear notes, schedule, focus, and trust, which in turn creates our most straight forward progression. I understand there are emergencies and that one parent is not available 100% of the time— as it was for my situation as a Suzuki child growing up. But, the better the consistency, the better the experience.
4. Practice consistently at home. Dr. Suzuki says “only practice on the days you eat!”. He means have practicing become part of your routine. If you do something routinely, it becomes easier. If you don’t, it’s harder.
Take brushing your teeth for example. They don’t say, brush your teeth sometimes. It’s important you brush your teeth every day. Why? For maintenance. For health.
If you are training for a sporting event, say a marathon, you wouldn’t run 2x a week one week and then expect to be amazingly fast and in shape the next. You need progression, maintenance, and to exercise and take care of yourself every single day. Violin is a sport, and it takes the same amount of care and commitment.
5. Practice what your teacher tells you to practice. If you don’t trust your teacher, then find a new teacher. If you do trust your teacher, then do what they ask! It seems so simple, but yet I find out very often that when parents get home they create their own agenda, and don’t do what the teacher asked in the lesson. They move ahead to the next piece before the teacher gives the green light, and they don’t work to fix the problems that the teacher has asked. Go to your lesson to learn what needs to be addressed so you can go home and do your homework.
6. Do your listening. Your listening is basically your textbook! Listen as much as your child, and be involved in your listening with your child. The stronger your child’s ears, the more they can learn, and pick up. Do not take this part for granted, and there is no such thing as “too much listening”. When you think you’ve done enough listening, keep listening. Don’t stop when you think you know the songs. Thats not the point. The point is to listen to good quality playing every day so that it’s all that your child knows how to do! If your child listens to their “beginner” sound, they’ll always stay at that beginner sound. They should listen to a professional sound much more than their own so that their ears are constantly searching for a more mature and advanced tone and quality.
7. Look back on old lesson notes. This can give you a lot of great information! If you see that the teacher has mentioned working on Inside Corners for a whole 2 months, maybe that is the wake up call that you needed to read in your own writing that it’s time to buckle down and get it done at home, or maybe you need to ask the teacher for some more ideas or ways to help at home. Maybe you are practicing at home and can’t figure out why your child is making this funky sound, and you look back on your notes and find a helpful tip and that gives you the cure. Your notes are important for you to learn along with your child and give your child the best support at home that you can.
8. Actually practice with your child at home. Please don’t expect your child to be able to learn the hardest instrument in the world at a young age with no support. Please support them in all ways— help them to learn, be their emotional support system, encourage them, be their double-checker, be their home teacher, and be a part of the Suzuki Triangle.
Parents, having your child do violin lessons is a large commitment, not only for them, but more importantly, for you! You are the biggest factor in their learning process. Do not take your role for granted.